31st October 2010 - Kerala

Interesting approach into Kerala airport, you feel like you are on the final approach around 800 feet and then the plane banked steeply to the right before dropping into land! My fellow passenger's confidence not helped by Darcy shouting "we're going down!" interspersed with "don't like Gandi!"

First impressions of Kerala are good, very lush and verdant, much more laid back atmosphere than Mumbai. Two other big differences, the buses don't have windows and the men appear to wear Longyi, like a skirt that reaches the ankles and then can be tucked up to form what actually looks like a big nappy.

30 October 2010 - Indian Train Virgin

Not another Branson tie up but what I was this morning before purchasing my first Western railways single second class train ticket from Malad to Andheri. Took the trip with Max and Dad all for the very reasonable Rs 12, that's about 18p for all three of us! Queuing up for the ticket I kept getting tapped on the arm by a small boy, maybe 4 years old, holding what looked like a 6 month old baby. Hard to ignore and once I had some change for the first time I gave a few Rupees. I've been told not too as there are so many organised gangs that use small kids to extract money, but still such a small amount and so hard to just keep ignoring as if they don't exist. So back to the train ride, very long train turns up and we all pile on board and make our way across the carridge to the large open doors on the other side. Train rolls out of the station and we are cooled by the breeze as we zoom along, great fun, the first of many I hope. Having arrived at Andheri station, emerged into an unfamiliar looking place. I'd imagined that I would recognise something. Headed toward the main road and hailed a TukTuk. The first few refused to take us but eventually we found one happy to make the journey. 40 minutes later and Rs160 later we arrived back in Hiranandani, shaken and stirred!

Afternoon topped off with a swim at the council pool with Mum and Dad, whilst Susie put up some fairy lights and Diwali lanterns in the Flat.

28th October 2010 - First Diwali Party

Darcy has a Diwali party today at school. She went in dressed in her Sari that Cecelia bought for her. So cute, although she was not impressed until she saw her other friends dressed in similar clothes. If we thought that Darcy attracted attention normally dressing her up in Indian clothes and the attention doubled! There was a crowd gathered outside the lobby of our apartment block, word spread fast.

Mum and Dad are over now which is lovely and the kids are enjoying them being here. Dad is an old hand having been over here once already and Mum seems to be coping ok too which is a relief.

Weird sight of the day? Motorbike went past and the pillon was holding onto a complete aircon heat exchanger, quite a feat!

Weird story? Farmer blows his own hand off with a country bomb he'd made to throw at an elephant......

27th October 2010- Cheap labour

I know labour is cheap here but seriously guys, isn't this taking the piss? The Grass area at the front of Logitech Park is approx 800 square metres and 4 blokes are cutting the grass using handshears! So far they have been at it for 2 days and look to be about half way through it!

Speaking to Sharan (my boss) this morning and she'd seen a dead body just before the entrance to a petrol station in the road, covered by a white cloth (but for the feet sticking out) and guarded over by a Policeman

whose job was to prevent the traffic from driving over the body. No exclusion area, no closure of a line of traffic nor the petrol station entrance, just life carrying on as normal and only the dead body missing a beat. Maybe someone will morn the loss somewhere, somewhen but in the constant race no one blinked - deep.

26th October 2010 - Mehandi fun

Susie had a go at using the Mehandi dye with me being the guinea pig, mainly to check that it was safe to apply! It is made of the leaves of the Mehandi tree ground up and mixed with water. Otherwise known as Hena, which if I understand correctly is more a product name. So I am the proud owner of a orange/brown coloured mango pattern on my arm and a single ring around the little finger of my right hand. According to Aftab it is acceptable for men to have the ring around their finger whereas the women paint/dye both arms,feet and legs! Slight imbalance between the sexes, however I proudly show off my little finger adornment at work and was rewarded with laughter from the women who told me that it wasn't for men to wear - gonna kick Aftab's arse!

25th October 2010 - Bus driver's handshake

The old buses here don't have the luxury of an electric horn, instead they have an old fashioned brass horn with a rubber ball on the end. So they steer with their left hand whilst constantly honking the horn with their right. Sounds like a demented seal. Consequently I image that a bus drivers right forearm muscles are highly developed and if you were to shake hands with one the likelihood is that they'd probably crush your hand!

I've noticed a similar sort of overly work hands with TukTuk drivers on their left hand which operates the clutch, the leaver is always set far away from the handlebar so the hand strenght required is impressive. However, I understand that left hand is reserved for wiping duties so no likelihood of shaking hands with a muscle bound TukTuk driver.

24th October 2010 - Obama

Headline story - Obama's coming to India landing in Mumbai on the 5th November.....which is Diwali. I maybe new to all this Indian celebration stuff but even I know that Diwali is kind of a big thing here, parties all night, firecrackers in the street til all hours, police stretched to the limit (of what I don't know, not seen one yet) and the President is flying into all of this - who the hell is planning his travel? Most of the hotels, inc the Taj, are booked solid by Obama and his massive possie (the Taj has 604 rooms on its own). One of the many dilemas is whether Obama will fly from the International airport by helicopter to a Naval base in the South of Mumbai and them a short hop to the Taj or will he and his 50 vehicle convoy drive down to South Mumbai. Hummm, tough one, difficult to call. Will the most powerman in the World/biggest terror target chose to stay on the tarmac, zoom down to the 6 star Taj in a matter of minutes or leave the airport driving, even if they clear the roads completely unless he brings a Hummmer in Airforce One his Caddy Limo is going to have a rough ride indeed, it will also take him around 45 minutes and he will have to take in the breath taking smells and sights on his trip. The BMC are in a flat spin, trying to repair the roads on his potential journey so that they are smooth(er). Okay, so this is wierd one two counts - why don't the BMC know what's going on (!) And secondly it perfectly advertises the route, it will be the only smooth(ish)bit of road in Mumbai!

23rd October 2010 - World's local bank

My arse! 20 minutes to get a print out of my account, thank god there were no other customers in the branch otherwise I'd have turned grey waiting.

And breathe....

One thing I still haven't got used too being out here is seeing the number of people riding one motorbike. Dad driving, baby in a front carrier on his chest, son laying prone on the tank holding the wing mirrors, child sat behind dad and not forgetting Mum sitting side saddle on the back leaning forward to hold Dad's ill fitting crash helmet on his head. In a straight line at walking pace seems like a laugh, at speed on the expressway, weaving through traffic, with the other crazy drivers just inches away ready to knock you off/run you over it makes me sweat!

22nd October 2010 - Lucky bones

Darcy went to school this morning dressed as a scary Barbie as her nursery are celebrating Halloween. Poor Dar thought she was just going as Barbie albeit dressed in Max's skull and crossbones T shirt (Lucky bones). Susie made her face up with pink cheeks, black lips with black mouth stiches, black circles round her eyes, a scar on her forehead and her hair in bunches!

Dar went along with this very happily....until we got in the lift and she saw her reflection in the polished stainless steel! Went to school with Max so I could pay the school fees, Dar had so much cheek pinching - had to re apply her pink cheeks before she went into Nursery. Nursery teachers thought she had come as a pretty zombie - slightly weird as she is the one who convinced Darcy that she looked like Barbie.

Max is having Libby over at ours tonight for a sleep over. Neither of them are enjoying school or India at present so hope to make it a fun evening for them both, I know they find India tough think one year might be enough for them.

Sitting at Saki Naka Junction and just watched a Hawk take down a pigeon, amazing ariel display, nature just getting on with life surrounded by all the noise and chaos. Must have upset the Indian's as they like pigeons here!

20the October 2010 - Tooling

India is a blast from the past in many ways, one thing I've been noticing is the number of old vehicle designs there are about still being used to produce new vehicles. A couple of notables, a brand new Renault Traffic panel van and a first generation Mercedes Sprinter, now made by a company called Force with a new nose mated to the original backend. Royal Enfield occupies a different space as they have old and new models.

Still a large number of vehicles wearing their flower garlands from the weekend. Vehicles had their own blessing at the end of the Dandiya festival. The garland on our car bit the dust early on Sunday morning as it started to rain and Aftab remebered he'd tied the flowers to the windscreen wipers a fraction of a second too late!

19th October 2010 - Sony Service Centre

Our new Sony Vaio laptop, purchased in the UK before we left for India has broken down. I've found out that there is a Sony Service Centre near where I work so I'm going to pop down there today to check it out. I can't picture where it is, where I've been told to go is all just shacks and tiny shops ramed together so it will be interesting to have a drive by before I commit to leaving our machine to its fate. Couldn't find the Sony centre, drove all the way down to the end of the road where it then cuts across the end of the airport runway. To be honnest, having made it down through all the traffic, slums, industrial units selling second had heavy engineering stuff, piles of rubbish and mangy dogs, even if I had found a beacon of light with a Sony sign above it I was pretty unlikely to want to leave it there!

Having made it to work, was treated at 11am to an hour of the greatest hit of Bryan Adams (Capita India play music everyday to get the ops teams fired up for a day on the phones)

Left work and out into torrential rain and a pretty impressive sheet lightening display - feels like Monsoon all over again!

19th October 2010 - Sony Service Centre

Our new Sony Vaio laptop, purchased in the UK before we left for India has broken down. I've found out that there is a Sony Service Centre near where I work so I'm going to pop down there today to check it out. I can't picture where it is, where I've been told to go is all just shacks and tiny shops ramed together so it will be interesting to have a drive by before I commit to leaving our machine to its fate.

18th October 2010 - Goats of death

I've got loads to talk about today! Starting with my weird news story. Lead news story in todays paper, people were trampled at a festival at the weekend when fight broke out as to whose goat to sacrifice first. In the pushing and shoving that ensued, 10 people were crushed to death - doesn't say anything about whether the goats made it or not. Would be bloody ironic if on the way to kill the goat the faithful get killed and the goat survives!

Saw a pimped Tuk Tuk this morning, Bodica style bladed front wheel (which must induce massive vibration as it is only on one side!) And a 10 foot long whippy ariel at the back. The ariel made me laugh as the roads are so bumpy that it whipped so violently and was mounted so low down that pedestrians in the road had to duck - LOL!

As I walked into work this morning I saw a wonderful Rangoli on the floor of the entrance hall. It was about 30 x 15 feet amazing coloured pattern created from powder sprinkled on the floor. All looked amazing until one of the flower pots protecting it had been moved spoiling the edge, much fussing from Facilities not quite sure how to sort it out.

Rode to the top of the escalator and noticed a few tables and chairs and a few simple screens which had been errected. I then noticed the sign this was a blood transfusion set up the worrying thing was that it had been organised by the 11th graders from the Ecole Mondial school - felt like they were going to practice on you, not tempted.

12 - 13th October 2010 - 4 Star

One thing that has spoilt us being in India is the quality of the hotels. Naturally you still get those that are made of bamboo and covered in leaves but I'm talking the 4 star plus places. Almost all that I've stayed at so far are recently built, on a massive scale and contain so much marble and granite that I'm surprised the Earth doesn't change angle when it is all amassed in one place. The surroundings are impressive the service first class. Cut to my current stay in the UK (workshops in Cheltenham Maz) and my stay in a 4 star hotel outside Cheltenham which is very disappointing. A good example of the need to look around the World for inspiration on how to run a good hotel, I wonder what other foreign visitors make of it?

17th October 2010 - Lands End

Lunch at the Taj Hotel in Bandra, 5 star luxury right on the coast, just along from Shar Rhoc Khan's house, you know the King of Bollywood movies. Food was tremendous, more wine than I could shake a stick at, all in all a great afternoon, with our friends in India and chocolate birthday cake to end. Happy days.

The sun has finally come out after a murky start, the sun bouncing off the sea is beautiful. An old man at the Taj heard that it was Sharan and my birthday celebration and wanted to wish us a happy day, it was his son's birthday and he was in NZ. Very sweethe gave Sharan a flower from his table - Indian pick up technique!

16th October 2010 - Priceless

Given the unstable nature of many of the buildings here in Mumbai, I'm not sure I'll be staying anytime soon in the 'Hotel Caves Inn'.....I kid you not!

Went to Bandra today, home of the Bollywood stars. The layout reminds me of areas of London, and the light is different to other areas of Mumbai. First stop was a pavement snack bar for our first taste of 'street food'. Verdict? Lovely, Pani Puri and Dahi Batati Puri and Chat. Felt fine with no ill effects so having found a 'tame' outlet we'll definately be back! Wandered down the street, saw loads of people sitting on the pavementds making up flower garlands for the end of the Dandia festival. Big piles of bright orange flowerheads being strung together in contrast to the mess and dirt. Took our life in our hands crossing the road to get to the treasure trove called 'Apaaral', they sell designer clothes at low cost, try Tommy Hilfiger shirt for 6 quid! Quick trip to Fabindia for some safe craft shoping and then onto Candies for late lunch. Candies is a well known eatery ground floor is indoor seating, kitchens and the fast food style order desks, food is cheap and plentiful, served on paper plates which you carry on trays up to the 7-8 seating areas at various levels ending up on a full roof garden maybe 5 levels up. The owner has a Michel Jackson fixation so everynow and again you turn a corner and there is a huge mosaic of the King of Pop.

In the evening Paul and I wnet down to the Dandia celebrations. The Dandia is a festival from Bengal, the temporary temple built in Powai, tooka team of 20 builders 45 days to build. Started off as a bamboo frame and was then clad in carved wood and foam carvings which are then painted to make it all look like stone, amazing structure that you can walk inside. Approx 60 feet high, 100 feet wide, single story monster complete with full frieze of the goddess, holding a green faced man on a lead both standing ona lion who was killing a cow - nice!

16th October 2010 - Priceless

Given the unstable nature of many of the buildings here in Mumbai, I'm not sure I'll be staying anytime soon in the 'Hotel Caves In'.....I kid you not!

15th October 2010 - Paaaaaarty!

Flew back from the UK last night arrived unrefreshed at lunchtime today. I must get some sleeping tabs next time as not sleeping on a long haul flight is a real pain! Worked from home for the rest of the afternoon which was nice to be around the kids as I hadn't seen them all week.

In the evening we went to the Capita India Las Vegas style party at the 5* Holiday Inn. Couple of major differences between a UK party and an Indian party. Party start time was 7pm, we were 15 minutes late but everyone else was there on time and already dancing - normally takes 2 hours and plenty of drink to get any participation in the UK! Majority of our Indian colleagues were drinking, rather a lot of spirits, carefully hidden in fruit juice! The measures of vodka being dished out were huge, top up with ice and fanta and you look like your non drinking friends.....until you collapse in a drink induced coma. Out of 250 only 3 had to be loaded into wheel chairs and removed from the hotel!

15th October 2010 - Paaaaaarty!

Flew back from the UK last night arrived unrefreshed at lunchtime today. I must get some sleeping tabs next time as not sleeping on a long haul flight is a real pain! Worked from home for the rest of the afternoon which was nice to be around the kids as I hadn't seen them all week.

In the evening we went to the Capita India Las Vegas style party at the 5* Holiday Inn. Couple of major differences between a UK party and an Indian party. Party start time was 7pm, we were 15 minutes late but everyone else was there on time and already dancing - normally takes 2 hours and plenty of drink to get any participation in the UK! Majority of our Indian colleagues were drinking, rather a lot of spirits, carefully hidden in fruit juice! The measures of vodka being dished out were huge, top up with ice and fanta and you look like your non drinking friends.....until you collapse in a drink induced coma. Out of 250 only 3 had to be loaded into wheel chairs and removed from the hotel!

11 October 2010 - Long haul

Flying sucks. Still, better than finding yourself suddenly not flying (one of my favourite Bob Monkhouse quotes). Bumpy flight, couldn't sleep just wanted to get it over with. Stacked above London, we ended up flyingh round in circles for half an hour. Eventually landed and picked up my hire car, felt weird to get into the drivers seat and hold the steering wheel for the first time in 4 months.

Here in the UK for a 3 day workshop, will be useful and give me the chance to see my folks and a few friends - can't wait.

10/10/10 - Once in a lifetime

Spent a great morning in Nashik old town, went down to the main river which is lined by various Hindu temples. The river itself is diverted into 2 concrete channels one for washing/immersion and one for washing clothes. Amazes me that the Indian clothes last as long as they do with all the scrubbing with stones on concrete and flogging to try and get some of the water out.

Went round the very colourful market full of spices, fruit and veg and religious stuff. Turning a corner we were confronted by a rather large elephant, with a rider onto. Neat little party trick - you give the elephant a Rupee which it takes with its trunk and passes to the rider. Amazing to watch this huge beast take a tiny coin in its trunk. Also saw a couple of camels with saddles giving kids a ride - think donkey rides on the beach in the UK and you have here the Indian equivalent!

More eventful drive back on the National Highway, plenty more nutters out today, Aftab doing a great job whilst Susie and I snoozed in the back.

9th October 2010 - Nashik

Road trip to Nashik, off to visit the Sula Winery. Drive out of Mumbai along the National Highway No 3 for approx 180 Kms so around 3-4 hours drive. We got out of Mumbai well and enjoyed travelling at upto 50 mph! The dual carridgeway soon ran out as there were sporadic but very lenghty roadworks ongoing. Not your normal resurfacing works but complete reengineering. To get round the massive missing road sections they employ a contraflow system. This consists of simply creating a gap in the concrete barrier and allowing the traffice from the affected carridgeway to swap straight into the oncoming 2 lanes of traffic and then fight for space! Apart for the Ox drawn cart, every other type of motor vehicle is present on the National Highway, mainly very slow moving so Aftab is having to stay alert. Lots of breakdowns on the road with no real attempt to pull over somewhere safe so you end up with big trucks in the outside lane, normal branch of a tree sticking out of the back to show it is stationary - not quite sure what happens at night as the tree branch doesn't show up too well in the dark! Most impressive breakdown so far is a truck in the outside lane with its entire rear axle missing!

Had a tour of the vinyards and an interesting talk on how they make the different wines. One interesting fact, white wine can be made using both white and red grapes, its all about how long you leave the skins in with the juice.

Following the tour we then had wine tasting, followed by even more wine tasting and ending up with more wine tasting, needless to say an enjoyable time was had by all and I don't remember the drive back to the hotel! What I do remember once back at the hotel were the armed guards who were now stationed at the front door and on the landings, seems as VIP was staying.

8th October 2010 - Officially downhill

40 today! At the start of the year if you had said 'forget your 40th year celebrations, you'll be in India' I wouldn't have believed you and yet here I am, an India resident, family with me and a baby on the way!

Never say never!

Pretty ordinary day, felt alright about being 40 but kept it pretty quiet and noone really knew which suited me! At the end of the day Susie, Max, Darcy and Ethne came into meet me and brought in a chocolate cake and a bunch of balloons which was a great end to the day.

In the evening, Susie and I went to an Indian resturant and had a good meal. On the way back home I drew some cash from the ATM and was wished Happy Birthday by the ATM!

8th October 2010 - Officially downhill

40 today! At the start of the year if you had said 'forget your 40th year celebrations, you'll be in India' I wouldn't have believed you and yet here I am, an India resident, family with me and a baby on the way!

Never say never!

Pretty ordinary day, felt alright about being 40 but kept it pretty quiet and noone really knew which suited me! At the end of the day Susie, Max, Darcy and Ethne came into meet me and brought in a chocolate cake and a bunch of balloons which was a great end to the day.

In the evening, Susie and I went to an Indian resturant and had a good meal. On the way back home I drew some cash from the ATM and was wished Happy Birthday by the ATM!

8th October 2010 - Officially downhill

40 today! At the start of the year if you had said 'forget your 40th year celebrations, you'll be in India' I wouldn't have believed you and yet here I am, an India resident, family with me and a baby on the way!

Never say never!

Pretty ordinary day, felt alright about being 40 but kept it pretty quiet and noone really knew which suited me! At the end of the day Susie, Max, Darcy and Ethne came into meet me and brought in a chocolate cake and a bunch of balloons which was a great end to the day.

In the evening, Susie and I went to an Indian resturant and had a good meal. On the way back home I drew some cash from the ATM and was wished Happy Birthday by the ATM!

8th October 2010 - Officially downhill

40 today! At the start of the year if you had said 'forget your 40th year celebrations, you'll be in India' I wouldn't have believed you and yet here I am, an India resident, family with me and a baby on the way!

Never say never!

Pretty ordinary day, felt alright about being 40 but kept it pretty quiet and noone really knew which suited me! At the end of the day Susie, Max, Darcy and Ethne came into meet me and brought in a chocolate cake and a bunch of balloons which was a great end to the day.

In the evening, Susie and I went to an Indian resturant and had a good meal. On the way back home I drew some cash from the ATM and was wished Happy Birthday by the ATM!

8th October 2010 - Officially downhill

40 today! At the start of the year if you had said 'forget your 40th year celebrations, you'll be in India' I wouldn't have believed you and yet here I am, an India resident, family with me and a baby on the way!

Never say never!

Pretty ordinary day, felt alright about being 40 but kept it pretty quiet and noone really knew which suited me! At the end of the day Susie, Max, Darcy and Ethne came into meet me and brought in a chocolate cake and a bunch of balloons which was a great end to the day.

In the evening, Susie and I went to an Indian resturant and had a good meal. On the way back home I drew some cash from the ATM and was wished Happy Birthday by the ATM!

4th - 6th October 2010 - Pune

I went to Pune this week and carried out a number of interviews for new staff members to joint the ODC.

Stayed in a lovely hotel called the Westin on the outskirts of Pune - 5* luxury, such a contrast to the surrounding area but great all the same!

3rd October 2010 - Mar Mar

The kids were very excited this morning as we went off to the airport to pick up Mar Mar for her stay in India. Susie was very excited too and I think it has helped her lift her spirits to have her mum come over.

Once back in Powai we went out for lunch at Sankilp, a Southern Indian resturant. Good food and not too expensive. After a nice spot of lunch we went swimming before coming home for cake!

2nd October 2010 - Candyfloos

As a birthday treat I'd agreed to take Max down to the Haklone centre and pay for him to have a ride on one of their mean looking quad bikes. Susie had dutifully gone down the day before to checkout the set up, age limit, cost etc etc. Green light given, I went down with Max, Paul and Libby - first hurdle was that rather than being no age limit they had to be 16 years old! Never mind, as we were leaving another chap turned up and asked if the kids had riden quads before, Max answered yes and he said ok fine you can have a go - TII! Libby looked a little concerned so I decided that it wasn't fair for Max to have a go and not Libby so we satified ourselves with 4 goes on the rather ropey looking dodgem cars. Actually appart from the single quad bike the rest of the fairground is very sad and tired looking - the rides were well past their best, like a fairground graveyard with the owners wringing out the last drops! Never the less we all had a right laugh on the dodgems, crashing into each other head on, in reverse, driving the wrong way round etc and the owners not in the slightest bit worried.

1st October 2010 - School play

I left work early today to drive down to Bandra West to see Max in his school play. He had been cast in the lead roll of the Pied Piper, the play was the Rocking Piper, but he got cold feet and decided that he didn't want to play the part. Having dropped out he was then convinced to rejoin in a smaller part as one of the towns folk. By the end of the casting he had been recast as the King Rat, which he seemed far more comfortable with. Sadly as the traffic was so bad, Susie and I didn't get to the playhouse in time to see him, although a video has been made so we'll get hold of a copy! Anyway having watched the end of the first play I assumed we would leave before the second play started but Max was not being released, we were duty bound to stay and watch. And I'm glad we did as the evening was great fun, slightly crazy, amusing and ultimately a big glitzy event which we really enjoyed.

30th September 2010 - Max's Birthday

Max was 10 years old today. Can't believe how quickly he has grown up. Such an amazing boy, he takes most things in his stride and just gets on with life. He had a couple of presents and a small handful of cards. He appreciated all he had and wasn't concerned that he only had a small haul - hats off to his attitude.

Max's friend Libby came round for Sheppards Pie and Jelly and Ice cream which was a great birthday tea. A simple day but very enjoyable.